I have, in the last few years, attempted to refrain from being too open about my personal problems. Not because I'm withdrawn, but mostly because I'm of the mindset that most people don't want to hear about someone else's problems. However, I need to delve into it for a bit so I can tell y'all this story. So bare with me. I, am a raging alcoholic. there, I said it. For those of you who don't know, or were not paying attention, I spent well over a decade drinking myself to death. I destroyed relationships. I lost jobs. I sunk my career. I went through a lot of self destruction. I'll spare all bits and pieces and just say that about 3 years ago, I finally hit rock bottom and sought out some help. Here is a little story that happened to me along the way. I wanted to share it with you.
A couple of years before I quit drinking, I had a friend land me a gig working for a company that was, by all means, a really decent job. The job was driving a truck. The guy I had to work for, His name was Cliff. Well, wouldn't you know it? Cliff was just a complete asshole. Former military. Way too uptight. Way too organized. Abrasive and way too intimidating. Set in his ways, no matter how wrong they were. But, I really had to put it in there and deal with this guy if I wanted the job. He was the supervisor after all. So, I did what I had to do. All I wanted was to get through the days and spend my free time drinking as much as possible anyway. This job was great for that, because I spent a lot of time on the road living in hotel rooms where no one could watch me. I had the whole world fooled.
The job was seasonal. I finished out the season, and returned the next year to do it all over again. In the course of that year and a half, I got more and more frustrated with the job. Mostly because people were accusing me of "things I didn't do" Cliff became such a pain to work for. Breathing down my neck about shit that I didn't do. Or at the very least, stuff that wasn't my fault. I finally left the job before finishing out the season. I ducked out to take another job and left Cliff in a tight spot. He and I (mostly he) had an exchange of words that was far from pleasant. Some very mean things were said, and I left.
I went through a couple of jobs after that. None of them lasted quite a year, because my drinking kept getting me into trouble. It was about this time that I had a moment of clarity in my life, and realized that I desperately needed help to get away from booze. I sought it out, and I found some wonderful people to help me with that. I had been sober for about 6 months when I realized that I really needed to put some focus on getting my professional life back to something productive. It was almost time for season to start again at the company where I had started working with Cliff, and I did what any self respecting man in recovery would do, I put my hat in my hands and cleared my throat.
My hands were shaking when I dialed Cliff's number. It rang about 8 times... I was thinking through how to word my voicemail message when he answered the phone. I spent a few minutes laying out to this man what I was doing. I explained my recovery. I apologized for my behavior. And then I asked him if he could find it in his heart, I could really use a second chance. Cliff got quiet, He said "let me consider it and I will get back to you". I thanked him and hung up. Two weeks later, I got the message: Cliff was NOT in the business of giving second chances. In, fact he never did it. But, against his own better judgement, he was going to give me another chance. I got the gig. I worked hard through the season. Did my job, and did it without complaining, and to the best of my ability. At the end of the season, Cliff came up to me and shook my hand. He told me that he was proud of me. He said that I had really made an impression on him. And then he told me that he wasn't going to answer the phone the day I called, but something compelled him to, and he didn't regret it.
I continued to do some occasional work for Cliffs company. Cliff moved on to another job. I ended up running with the employment and turning it into a pretty good, reliable income for myself. I branched out to a few other companies, and today, I work for several different organizations within the entertainment business as a freelance driver. I got to go on tour with Phil Collins and Billy Joel before the corona virus hit. I kept in touch with Cliff. Keeping him updated on my life and my recovery, and the progress I was making in both areas.
This week, I saw that the company Cliff was working for had a very large gig in my home town. On a whim, I texted Cliff and asked if he would be coming. Indeed, he would, but he wouldn't have time for much more than a lunch break. I insisted on meeting this man for lunch. We made the arrangements. I take the practice of breaking bread with another person very seriously. I really don't like eating with people that I don't trust or don't like. Life is too short. So, with just about an hour to spare, I sat down with this man. I insisted on paying for his lunch, because I believe that I might not have the opportunities that I have in front of me today, had this man not given me a second chance. We ate, and we talked, like friends. I had a really good time. Free of stress, and just soaking in the conversation and the company of a man that I had really grown to appreciate. We parted ways with a hand shake, and promised to keep in touch, which I am positive we will.
If you ever come to believe that you are beyond redemption, don't be afraid to stop and take stock of your surroundings. Humble pie can taste better than you might think. It's also healthy for the digestive system. And if you have ever just about had enough of someone screwing up and doing all the wrong things, If they show they have the desire to change, and are taking the steps, at least consider giving them another chance. They MAY let you down again, but if just ONE person can prove you wrong, and redeem themselves.... Well then, I bet that's a pretty amazing feeling!
Thank You Cliff. I cant say that hard enough!
(In case you are wondering, going on 3 years sober now, but that's not what this story is about)
