The Silver Lining

 

     While the ministry of propaganda is constantly reminding us of what a total catastrophe this most recent hurricane is, allow me to take the unpopular stance and say it:  This may be one of the better things that has happened to the area in a long time.   In the present, it may be really difficult to see through the generator smoke and debris strewn roads to see it, but I have the luxury of experience in this kind of thing allows me to be able to make this call.

     As of 2020, the mean population of Punta Gorda was 20 thousand folk.  That's a pretty small town by any measure.  Yet, this entire last year, I was constantly finding myself sitting through three entire light cycles at traffic lights because the traffic has grown to the choking point here. This last couple of years, the community has been overrun with people looking to get away from the political dumpster fires that they created in whatever areas they came from, buy a house in Southwest Florida, and create a brand new dumpster fire here for us all to enjoy.  This trend has driven housing prices to record levels, making affordable homes for the working class nearly untouchable.  

Politics in California

    This non stop drive for new housing has pushed the developments further east.  If you have ever driven into Boca Raton, West Palm Beach, or Fort Lauderdale, you will understand the dire consequences of this.  Strip mall after strip mall greet you for 20 miles on the main highways before you even get to the city limits.  This is the future we are facing here. Unmitigated growth and unchecked expansion, unsupervised by county leaders who only care about lining their pockets, insures a miserable urban planning disaster in the future for the rest of us. 

Lehigh Acres (maybe)

      In an effort to keep up with the growth and demand, commercial traffic has exploded.  U.S. 17 has been a minefield of frustration attempting to deal with the non stop dump truck parade.  Every vehicle I own now had a damaged windshield because of these trucks.  They run drag races down 2 lane Bermont road and have managed to successfully kill about a dozen residents down that way in the last year alone.  Law enforcement turns a blind eye to it while County Commissioners hem and haw and eventually do nothing about it.   When I bought my house in Cleveland 10 years ago, it was a 9 minute drive to City Hall.  Today, it's a 29 minute drive. 

Traffic in Punta Gorda

     It's not all road traffic, but air traffic.  If you live anywhere on the east side of the Punta Gorda area, the constant parade of jet traffic flying in has created a whole new level of unabated noise pollution.  There is a constant tug of war in the residential communities here to force the jets to fly in and out from ANY other direction to try and get 25 minutes of the silence that we originally purchased with our properties.  Any don't even think about trying to get a flight into our out of the area if you live here.  All flights have been overbooked for several years.  Based on my own experience, there also appears to be a 2 screaming baby minimum requirement for each flight.  That way we all get to enjoy our 2 hellish hours together in a sardine can.

EVERY flight into Fort Myers

     The good news is that this all changes right now.  The endless parade of fish-belly white tourists in their Crocks and surfing shorts is going to abate for a while.  There won't be nearly as many people trying to flush out real estate to escape their snowy homelands.  And while this is bad for tourism dollars, it gives the area a chance to step back and assess how we can work in the future to more adequately accommodate the influx of tourism and carpetbaggers.   This will give communities in Lee and Collier counties the time to repair their dated infrastructure, and rebuild properly with the next hurricane in mind. 

I'm gonna miss you guys SO much!

     I am not going to lie to you.  It is not going to be a fast process.  Punta Gorda was not quite right for 3 or 4 years after Charley in 2004.   The quaint old charm that people fell in love with, in some cases is going to be gone forever.   We can rebuild, but we can't build new-old.  I'm also sure that in many cases, with the implementation of stricter building codes, some places that you may have loved will just be gone forever.   The good news is, that new, amazing, hurricane reinforced businesses and residences are going to appear.  Yes, they will be newer, but they will be stronger, and more capable of accommodating the influx of travelers to the area. 

Waves of Grain bakery lost in Charley

     This disaster is also going to cool down some of the outrageous real estate prices at least for a while.  Once the rebuilding and reconstruction gets into full swing in a year or two, the prices are going to drive back up.  This is going to be the litmus test of your elected officials to see how they handle the problems of affordable housing for the middle and working class.  Hint: Charlotte County did almost nothing for this, and we are now paying the price for it.  New businesses will spring up and replace many of the ones that were lost to the storm.  New restaurants and bars will eventually open their doors and bring with them all manner of exciting new fare. 

     In the end, if you stick it out, you are going to find yourself in a newer, cleaner, prettier and safer community.  It may be hard to envision it now, but this is how it has always played out after these events in Florida.  It is reasonable to assume that the Southwest Florida area will be no different.  We need to demand that our elected officials take into account the explosive growth that this event is eventually going to bring with it.  If we handle this correctly, and use it to prepare for the future, Hurricane Ian could end up being one of the best things that ever happened to this area.  

     

Hurricane Ian winners and losers

 

I've been making a list of some of the winners and losers of Hurricane Ian based on my personal experience and observation.  Opinions may differ, but honestly this isn't about your opinion, it's about mine.  Make your own list of ya don't like it:

Loser: Verizon. 

Verizon immediately got busy doing an assload of nothing.  No service for days, yet the only calls I was getting were about my cars warranty. I wish I was making this up.

Winner: TMobile. 

The day after the storm, we passed 3 semis loaded with TMobile generators.  This was verified with a contractor who told me that a week in, he was still servicing all the TMobile equipment, and crickets from the other carriers.

Loser:  Starlink. 

Numerous unaddressed reports of equipment failure after the storm. Paying customers without internet, meanwhile, Starlink donating hundreds of systems to "help patch network holes" obviously created by Verizon, for people who don't pay for it. Starlink had a golden opportunity here to shine as the company that made a terrible situation a little better. Instead they came through as the company that only cares about the perception of their image, and not an iota about their costumers.

Winner: FPL. 

Talk about having your shit together.  They anticipate having almost all power back on by the two week mark.  Amazing. I could go on and on about this, but one only needs to flip a light switch to understand. I'm never gonna bitch about my power bill again.

Loser: Allegiant/Sunseeker. 

The Sunseeker resort under construction at the base of the 41 bridge had 2 massive cranes collapse onto US41.  The wreckage blocked one of the two main arteries for relief support for days.  Once again, through a complete lack of foresight, Allegiant proves itself to be a terrible neighbor.

Winner: Wayne Sallade. 

The long retired EOC director from Charlotte County tirelessly disseminating information from his home in Colorado keeping thousands informed, because:

Loser: Charlotte County EOC. 

Is there even an information department? Who works there? What do they do all day? Why do they rely on retired employees to do their job? One has to actively seek out information to find what Charlotte County is trying to convey, and usually, you find it on Waynes page.

Winner: Governor Ron Desantis.

 Boots on the ground within hours.  Doing his job and getting shit done right now. He came in and cooked breakfast for law enforcement at the Awful House. He may be a butthole, but he's a butthole who went to work this morning.

Loser: President Joe Biden. 

Since Ian Joe Biden has managed to hand 600 million dollars to Ukraine---and not much else. Joe came in and cooked meth for Hunter. Shows up a week after the storm, "declares: "We aren't leaving." Hell man, you gotta show up before you can leave.

Winner: Home Depot. 

Open the day after the storm. Generators and propane at the ready.   Already had a game plan.  Already had hired security in place.  All ready to help.

Loser CenturyLink. 

If CenturyLink was a horse, you would have no choice but to put a bullet in it's head for being lame. 

Winner: Publix.

  Also open within 48 hours and a convoy of trucks headed south to restock provisions.  They even had PubSubs.  A welcome taste of normalcy in a hellscape of nightmares.

Loser: Unprepared Insurance Carriers

Insurance carriers who have so few adjusters that people have to sit on their debris pile for weeks waiting for these idiots to decide to show up.  There's zero excuse why insurance carriers don't have a plan in place for this.  You people are the devil.

Winner: WaWa.

Open, and pumping gas with 24 hours.  This was a company with a plan in place, and they executed it brilliantly.

Loser: Lookie loos.

Rubberneck asshats are making 10 minute tasks turn into hours long tasks. Do us all a favor and go back to pulling the wings off of flies for entertainment.

Winner: Amazon.

I ordered an electrical meter that I needed for repairs, I didn't expect to see it for weeks. It showed up within 48 hours. I hope Jeff Bezos is reading this, because your employees aren't paid nearly enough for what they do.

Loser: Lying contractors. 

If you can't come, don't tell me you will.  I have a mountain of shit to do, and wasting 5 hours waiting for another no show just makes me pray that you get butt cancer.

Winner: Volunteers. 

God bless the people from ALL 50 of the United States. who rushed in to help everyone without blinking.  The assistance y'all provided is immeasurable.

Loser: Social Media shadow bans. 

I'm looking at you Farcebook.  When people can finally get onto a social media platform and ask for assistance, and their request is throttled to the point where no one sees it, all because of their political beliefs... There's a special place in hell for Fascists like you. 

Winner: Swamp Coolers.

  If you don't have one, you won't understand.  But this bad boy saved our sanity.  Best frivolous purchase I've made this year.

Loser: The "I'm not evacuating" Crowd. 

Congratulations, now YOU are the problem.  Countless man hours spent rescuing the ignorant from their own homes that could be spent on actual recovery efforts.  Way to go Florida Man, you did it again.

Chicken Dinner: Selfless Neighbors. 

I've lost count of the super human deeds I've already seen with people helping their neighbors.  People sacrificing their own supplies, time, money and energy to help their more stricken friends. I'm looking at you Cleveland... Well most of ya.  Give yourselves a round of applause.

Chicken Little

     

Wayne Sallade

 I will never forget the first time I met Wayne Sallade.  I don't remember the exact day.  I was working as a journalist at the time, alongside a reporter.  I don't remember the exact story we were working on.  I would bet you a sawbuck though, that it was a story about hurricane preparedness.  It was before before the twin towers and the turn of the millennium.  I would guess that it was probably 1998.  What I distinctly remember about first meeting Wayne, was thinking that I had just met the Chicken Little of Hurricanes.  

     Wayne would not mince words.  He would bombastically drop phrases telling anyone who would listen, (and almost no one did) that we were not prepared.  We had no idea what a category five storm could do, and we needed to be ready.  But no one believed him because we were immune to hurricanes in Punta Gorda.  Yeah, sure Donna had hit in 1960, but that was a fluke, and like a hundred years ago.  And hell, Wayne was the only one who seemed to remember.  He was the Emergency Operations Director for Charlotte County.  His office was in a windowless corner inside of the Sheriff's Office.  Where, in retrospect, he was woefully, inadequately supplied by county leaders to do his job.  And there he sat for years, telling anyone who would listen that the sky was falling-- one day it was going to fall.

Hurricane Charley 2004 (AP photo)

     Then, on Friday, August 13, 2004, the sky did fall.  It fell hard on the sleepy town of Punta Gorda.  That day, and the days that followed will be forever seared into my memory.   I had never witnessed such absolute fury unleashed by Gaia. I wept openly as I surveyed the remnants of the community that I had come to love and call home. The destruction was absolute.  And our very own Chicken Little became a national celebrity overnight.  Suddenly, people were intently interested in what he had to say.  I remember watching him directing emergency relief efforts from his destroyed offices for days without sleep.  He drove on, with textbook knowledge of what needed to be done, and now, people listened.  The sky had indeed fallen, but at least we had Wayne to help us put the pieces back together.  It took years to do it, but we struggled through, With Wayne's help.

Charlotte High.  Rebuilt after Charley. 

  Waynes Alma Matta. Where he was also the voice of the Charlotte Tarpons

(Photo: Florida Weekly)

      Infrastructure that checked in at 75 years old sometimes, which had failed during Charley, was rebuilt.  Buildings were strengthened.  Emergency plans were drawn up and put in place.  They even built Wayne a little castle of his very own to call the Emergency Operations Center where he could operate in the event of such future disasters.  Eventually, all became right with the county.  Wayne moved on to less hurricane ridden areas of the world to enjoy a well earned retirement. The infrastructure that he put in place waited for the next big test.  We didn't have to wait long.

Charlotte County EOC building

      On September 29th, 2022, Hurricane Ian took almost the exact same course as Charley did 18 years earlier.  There were many notable differences though.  Charley could have fit within the eye of Ian. It was smaller, faster, and according to "experts" weaker than Ian.   According to official data, Charley clocked in with 149mph winds.   As I understand it, that reading was taken from the only source at the airport, just before the reading device was blown completely out of the ground. Charley was controversially categorized as a Cat 4 storm.  Ian was promised to be a Cat 5, and according to every official account thus far, was "far worse than Charley".

     Having survived (thus far) through both of these events, some things are becoming very clear to me today.  Most notably, is that I see Wayne Sallade everywhere I look.  After Charley, it took over 30 days before we had a working traffic signal.  This week, we had some working the day after the storm.  Charley struck down nearly every power pole in the county.  Fallen power poles are the exception today, not the norm.  I remember calling my newsroom excitedly  5 weeks after Charly to proudly announce that we had a gas station open and pumping gas on Kings Highway.  Three days after Ian, about a dozen stations are pumping gas in Charlotte County.  In 2004, it took 28 days before the first residents had power restored in Charlotte.  This year, FPL expects to have power to almost everyone within 28 days. Stores are open, Restaurants are open and serving food. Water is available.  Recovery is insanely swift and moving like a well oiled machine. 

     Looking around, it's easy to surmise that Ian didn't even come close to Charley in the scale of devastation, but that assumption would be incorrect.  Glancing at Lee and Collier Counties proves that they were not at all prepared for a storm that they didn't take seriously.  The damage there is almost incalculable, and they didn't come within 30 miles of the eye of the storm, but they got a taste of what 150 mph winds will do to a community that does not listen to their Chicken Little. The center of Punta Gorda through Cleveland and out into DeSoto county where the eye was the most fierce, well that area withstood the mightiest of the storm, because Wayne prepared us.   Completely totaled buildings are again, the exception, not the norm.  Fewer roofs were lost. the power lines are still on the poles, which are still standing.

     I have no doubt that Wayne Sallade is single handedly responsible for saving lives this week.  Dozens, maybe hundreds of lives.  We will never be able to calculate that number, we just have to go on knowing that it exists.  And it does exist because he WAS the Chicken Little that we needed.  He made sure that when we spent years rebuilding, that we did it correctly with the next storm in mind.  A lot of us learned our zones, and when Wayne says "get out", the smarter people actually listen now.  God knows, I did.  Before he retired off to Colorado, I recall Wayne saying on several occasions:  "I have never said I told you so" (Which, lets be honest, is actually KINDA like saying I told ya so without actually saying it).  But allow this writer to take the time to say if for him: Wayne told ya so.  And its very evident that this time around, people actually listened, and we are a better, safer and more prepared community for it.  I'm proud to have known this man and worked beside him.  I just wanted to take the time to say:

On behalf of a very grateful home county:  Thanks Mr. Sallade!

Strawberry Ice Cream

 

     "Cops don't have quotas"  Ask any member of any law enforcement agency in the country.  Hell, ask any public official and you will most likely get that exact answer.  The reason is a simple one, quotas have been ruled by numerous courts across the land to be unconstitutional.  Hence, law enforcement agencies could be putting themselves in a serious liability situation if it were shown that they had a monthly quota of tickets they were required to write.  The Florida law prohibiting quotas is called The Waldo Law.  So named because of the small town of Waldo Florida, where after an FDLE investigation, it was uncovered that the tiny Police Department in Waldo required it's officers to write at least 11 tickets per shift.  Countless people were cited and fined for going 2 mph over the speed limit traveling through town.  The fines generated from this avalanche of tickets generated over twice the annual budget of the tiny department.   The state shut down the department and turned over law enforcement in the area to the Florida Highway Patrol. This was about 10 years ago.

     So, by making an example of this kind of questionable behavior, and clearly defining that law enforcement quotas were unconstitutional,  the State of Florida once and for all killed quotas in law enforcement agencies in the state, right?   Right?  Well, yes, and no. You see, the laws are usually written quite specifically so as not to be interpreted poorly.   So, Florida passes a law that pretty much says "Law enforcement agencies are prohibited from having ticket quotas".  This is simple and direct.  it forbids quotas.  It does not however, forbid strawberry ice cream. (stay with me on this)

Florida State Capital, Tallahassee.

     Some time ago, administration types in the law enforcement field, (This crowd is usually comprised of people who went to 4 years of college, studied law, got a job in law enforcement, and never actually worked a beat. Hired and promoted solely based on their ability to accrue student debt and produce a piece of paper that for some reason makes them smarter than people who actually do the job) these people latched on to the notion that numbers equate to productivity.   Since they have never actually worked as policing personnel, they only see that generating tickets is the only way to prove that an officer is actually doing something during their shift.  They get stuck on the idea of quotas and are fiercely reluctant to let them go. 

     Their answer is a simple application of the law.  They eliminated quotas from their operating procedures.  They then quickly implemented new policies with names like "Strawberry Ice Cream".  The new strawberry ice cream policy dictates that officers will be required to issue a minimum of 11 tickets during every shift they work.  Officers will be judged and reviewed quarterly based on how well they adhere to the strawberry ice cream policy.  Any officer found to not be meeting the minimum requirement of strawberry ice cream can be disciplined, and even terminated for not following standard operating procedure as outlined within departmental policy.  The policy of requiring 11 tickets per shift is never ever referred to as a "quota" in spoken or written word since quotas are illegal.  It's always referred to as Strawberry Ice Cream.

    This tactic serves a couple of purposes.  For one, it allows the administration to keep their immoral, unconstitutional policies in place, having convinced themselves that this is the only way to measure productivity among their own staff.   It gives them numbers to put on a page to use as statistics for election campaigns and official state reports.   Another, equally devious accomplishment of this approach is hiding it from the public, specifically the media, in plain sight.   You see, public record laws are pretty direct in the US, but especially in Florida.  If a citizen or a member of the media asks a public agency for information from a government agency, they are compelled legally to turn over that information to the individual or organization.  With this setup, a member of the media places a public records request for any and all information in agency records relating to quotas.   The agency can simply respond that the word "quota" does not appear anywhere at all in their standard operating procedures or for that matter any of their records anywhere whatsoever.  And they can confidently make this statement without lying.

     With quotas established in such ways, the only way to force the agency to produce the information relating to the program that requires officers to write 11 tickets per shift, is for the individual writing the records request to specifically ask for any and all documentation about "Strawberry Ice Cream".   At this point the agency in question can justifiably call the individuals sanity into question and refuse to fulfill any public records requests based on frivolity.  Officers are warned that discussing any agency policy including strawberry ice cream, with anyone outside the agency is a breach of policy and a fire-able offence.  Officers stand to lose their income, retirement, benefits and their law enforcement certification if they discuss it or even acknowledge it outside of work. 

     If this level of deceit bothers you, it should. I can tell you that the law enforcement personnel that I interviewed for this information were deeply disturbed by it.  The largest law enforcement agency in my county has had at least 2 officers that I am aware of who have been disciplined for writing citations to people without even pulling them over.  Their excuses were that they were under such pressure to meet the "strawberry ice cream requirements" that they didn't even have enough time during their shift to do the minimum ice creaming. Except, when I interviewed these officers, they called it "quotas". 

For the sake of clarity here, I feel the need to point out that agencies actually use more technical convoluted jargon to name their quota programs, like "Performance requirement Marks" or some such crap.  The end result is universally the same however, in that the agency gets to circumvent legislation by using creative dialogue.