But does she put out?

   In the six months or so since I started driving full time, I have had opportunity to learn many things.  I found out about being screwed.  I learned how to bend time.  Truck stops aren't what they used to be.  (They are generally cleaner with a lot less hookers and drugs).  I have also learned that if you commit to your cause and get on with the right company, they will reward your hard work well.  After several bouts of musical chairs, I finally landed myself into the seat of a truck that I am proud of and really enjoy driving,  Like most guys who land a sweet ride, I spent some time deciding on a a name for my new sweetheart.  I settled on “Dixie” for a variety of reasons.  I’ts a ritual that goes back as far as we have been riding horses to name your ride.  While pondering the reasons why guys always name their ride after a girl, I suddenly wondered: “If trucks were actually girls, what kind of girls would they be”?

KENWORTH: 

KW’s would be the athletic girl.  She is in reasonably good shape.  She looks pretty good.  She can run hard sometimes.  But she believes that she is way hotter than she really is.  KW looks ok in jewelry (chrome) but starts to look slutty if you give her too much.

PROSTAR:  

The prostar is the virgin.  Kinda cute but homely.  No makeup, fun personality but she is not fast or loose.  Good luck getting to second base, especially if you gotta travel uphill to do it.  Light jewelry for her-anything else looks silly.

FREIGHTLINER:

   Freightliner is the girl next door. Sometimes she is hot in a very subtle way.  Sometimes she is homely and would look a lot better if she cleaned herself up a bit.  She is sometimes carrying around a lot of baggage and because of this she breaks down a lot.  But she is easy to pick up and she will give just about anyone a cheap ride.  Even though she usually is not the best lookin girl in the bar, she is the Rosie the Riveter of the trucking industry.  She endures because she works hard for her money

VOLVO: 

 

The Volvo is the kinda hot foreign exchange student.  She is a bit exotic and different and fun to be around.  Easy to get along with and likes fancy clothes.  Problem is her fancy clothes cost a LOT of money, and when she has a breakdown, she loves to go shopping-with your money. Jewelry is optional

INTERNATIONAL EAGLE:  

The Eagle is the Catholic Schoolgirl.  Pretty simple clothes, generally charming and proper.  Easy to get along with. Every once in a while you can find one that’s fast and loose, and when you do, lookout.  Jewelry is sinful—no jewelry.

PETERBILT 579. 

  The 579 is the cute and reserved librarian chick.  Does not wear fancy clothes or show off her body.  Does not like jewelry in public.  But get her alone in a dark room with some jazz music and she will show you her inner tiger,

LONESTAR: 

 The Lonestar is the girl who wears way too much makeup.  She never fails to make herself look slutty. She is trying way too hard to be a prom queen when all it would take is to clean herself up a bit to look nice.   Guys always give her way too much jewelry to try to make her look like a stripper.

MACK.

  Macks are the bull dykes.  Enough said.

PETERBILT 379.  

 The 379 is the stripper at the club.  You know: the place where you can look but don’t touch.  Sometimes shes really hot, sometimes not so much.   To put it bluntly, she is the slut--every guy has been in her. Looks great in jewelry.  Has her own clothing line. You can see the jealousy in the eyes of the other men as you leave they club with her--but the jokes on you, you're gonna be sticky, broke and confused in the morning.

WESTERN STAR:

  The trophy wife. Looks great in everything.  Fantastic body.  You have never spent any time with her because you cant afford it, but you can tell just by looking that she is fast, loose and fun.  And the guy who hangs out with her is in debt up to his eyeballs, but he still manages to draw your envy.

CABOVER: 

 The cabover is the cougar that is hanging around the bar at 2:00 AM looking to score with some young stud.  You know for sure that you are not the first guy she has been with, but you might be the last. She can teach you things you never thought you would need to know. Every once in a while you see one that looks pretty hot, but generally, she is just a shadow of  her younger self..